Health For Sex

StoryCorps, an independent nonprofit whose mission is to honor and celebrate one another’s lives through listening has designated November 27 a National Day of Listening. They are encouraging everyone to take one hour on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, to sit down and record a conversation with someone important to you. Their website has tips on how to do the technical part and they also offer suggestions on questions you might want to ask.

I’m a big fan of StoryCorps, and usually stop what I’m doing when it comes on NPR. But I’m always keenly aware of the stories I don’t hear on those StoryCorps moments, and how many of them have to do with sexuality and gender. Our experiences of our sexual selves and our experience of gender is intimately linked to how we experience the rest of the world. These are stories that say so much about the unique time and place we live in. These are stories that should be archived for history as much as stories about loved one’s lost to war, schoolyard triumphs, work, and family life. In fact sex is in all these stories too, only it rarely gets spoken about.

Which brings me to this. I think it would be great if at least some of us who participate on Friday decided to take a risk and ask at least a few questions about sex and/or gender. You could even make your whole conversation about it, but that might be too much for this first year.

If you’re game, but not sure where to start, I thought I’d offer my own question generator below. If you’re reading these questions and bristling at the idea of asking a friend, family member, or partner any of them, it’s hard for me to make an argument here, but I promise that there is little that is as powerful as letting someone talk about their feelings about sexuality. It takes good listening skills and compassion, but the payoff is worth it. Remember, these are only suggestions.

National Day of Listening, Sex & Gender Questions

How did you learn about sex? Who was the first person to talk to you about sex? Do you remember what they told you?

What do you remember about learning about your body as a child?

How was nudity dealt with or talked about in your family?

How did you learn what it means to be a man/a woman?

Can you remember (and tell me about) a time when you felt you didn’t live up to others expectations of you as a man/a woman?

Can you describe a time in your life when you felt happiest sexually?

How important is sex in your life?

Who was your first crush? What do you remember about how that felt?

What do you remember about your first great love?

Do you remember anyone in your family talking to you about sex? What did they say?

Can you remember what you thought about sex before you ever had it?

Do you remember how you felt after the first time you had sex?

Do you remember the names that you first learned for going to the bathroom?

Do you remember the names that you first learned for your body parts?

How would you define pleasure?

How do you think people should treat each other when it comes to sexual and gender differences? What do you notice about how people actually do treat each other?

Participate in National Day of Listening, Record a Conversation about Sexuality and Gender originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Monday, November 23rd, 2009 at 00:01:50.

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Participate in National Day of Listening, Record a Conversation about Sexuality and Gender