Health For Sex

Heart Sex

admin — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 02:50:19 +0000

The mind may be our greatest sexual organ, but without the heart, our sex lives, just like the rest of our lives, wouldn’t exist. Until you, or someone you’re having sex with, has a heart attack or is diagnosed with heart disease, you probably won’t think too much about the relationship between your heart and your sex life. But the relationship is intimate, and having a basic understanding of both sexual health and heart health is an important way to minimize your risk and maximize your health and pleasure.

Tipping the Scales on Sex Addiction

admin — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:08:23 +0000

Since the DSM working group began announcing their proposals for new sexual diagnoses, I’ve been slowly making my way through the research that their proposals are based on, trying to glean some idea of how they arrived at what sometimes seem like fantastical proposals for the next twenty years of psychiatric intervention in our sex lives.

In the meantime the media’s fascination with sex addiction has increased, thanks to the latest celebrity sex news (I’m waiting for someone to call Mo’Nique’s husband a sex addict and Mo’Nique herself an enabler based on her refreshing honesty in an interview with Barbara Walters about her marriage).

You don’t need me to point you to articles that misunderstand and misrepresent sex addiction. That’s most of them. I thought I’d point out two articles in the past two months that try to do the opposite.

Michael Bader – Sex Addiction: A B.S. Excuse for Not Thinking

Raymond Lawrence – America’s Sexual Burlesque: The Brave New World of Sexual Addiction

Tipping the Scales on Sex Addiction originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Monday, March 8th, 2010 at 09:02:14.

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Tipping the Scales on Sex Addiction

Tipping the Scales on Sex Addiction

admin — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:08:22 +0000

Michael Bader – Sex Addiction: A B.S. Excuse for Not Thinking

Raymond Lawrence – America’s Sexual Burlesque: The Brave New World of Sexual Addiction

Tipping the Scales on Sex Addiction originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Monday, March 8th, 2010 at 09:02:14.

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Tipping the Scales on Sex Addiction

What’s Casual About Casual Sex?

admin — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 07:27:32 +0000

My friend and colleague Heather Corinna (founder of Scarleteen and sex educator extraordinaire) is doing a large survey on multi-generational experiences with and attitudes about casual sex. Heather is simply one of the smartest sex people I know, and every conversation I have with her could go on for days. But since we’re both busy I just went and participated in the survey, and it inspired to to think more than I ever had before about what exactly we’re talking about when we talk about casual sex.

Chance encounters, one-night stands, hook ups, anonymous sex, meaningless sex, friends with benefits, booty call, the zipless fuck. All of these are terms people have used to describe what researchers and an increasing number of media pop psychologists call casual sex. The terminology has changed over time, but one might argue that our fascination with casual sex has never wavered. But with so many terms, what exactly do we mean when we talk about casual sex?

How Researcher’s Define Casual Sex
Like so many other sex definitions, there isn’t a single agreed upon definition for casual sex. Which makes interpreting the wide range of research on the impact of casual sex somewhat daunting. Researchers have defined casual sex in different ways, depending in part on the purpose of their research and in part on their approach (e.g. psychology versus sociology versus nursing, etc…).

Despite variations one consistent element to most definitions of casual sex is that it is sex with someone you don’t consider to be a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, and that it is sex without any significant relationship commitments attached. Some researchers attach a time period to casual sex; labeling casual sex, for example, as sex with someone you have known for two weeks or less. Again, there is no general agreement on what the term means, but here are some of the other ways that researchers have bracketed casual sex as separate and unique from other sexual encounters:

casual sex implies a particular kind of relationship devoid of emotional connection
casual sex implies a type of attraction, for example primarily physical rather than based on personality or shared values
casual sex refers to the intention of one or both partners, usually the intention that this not turn into a relationship
casual sex means only having sex once or twice, or only having certain kinds of sex
casual sex happens when you’ve spent more time together having sex than not having sex

Each of these points could be thought of as describing a continuum on which we all plant ourselves, determining where our line is between casual and non-casual sex.

“Most People’s” Definition of Casual Sex
One way to define casual sex is just to start asking people. This can be a good way to collect information and get a sense of how others think about casual sex. In talking to them you may develop your own definition. But we always need to be wary of confusing information collected anecdotally (or, if you will, casually) with information that is collected in a systematic way. It’s not that people are more or less honest when talking to researchers, it’s just that good research addresses things like individual bias and the bias of the person collecting the information. So you could ask twelve of your real life friends or all 300 of your Facebook friends, but don’t confuse what they say with what most people think. Chances are, they aren’t most people.

What’s Casual About Casual Sex?
I would suggest that the casual in casual sex refers to the level of commitment that sex usually implies in traditional sexual and gender scripts. So these traditional scripts tell us that having sex “means” something. It might mean that we’re getting serious, taking it to the next level. It might mean that we only want one night of connection and we don’t want more (and by having sex before we know each other we’re saying we don’t expect to know each other more). It might mean a thousand other things.

Casual sex, on the other hand, is sex without a particular meaning or possible sex that has no meaning at all outside of the actual sexual encounter.

When sex is casual, I think the word is used to mean that the sex is detached from those traditional sexual and gender scripts. This is, I would suggest, precisely what is so threatening about casual sex. Casual sex isn’t sex by the rules. Casual sex thumbs it’s nose (or other body parts) at convention by being something that is supposed to meaningful but may mean nothing at all. This isn’t to say that casual sex is inherently radical or even a good thing. Rather that casual sex is threatening on a social level because it calls into question many of our foundational beliefs about sex. That may also be what makes it so attractive for some.

A Modestly Proposed Definition of Casual Sex
My own working definition of casual sex is this:

Casual sex that takes place without any commitment beyond the sexual encounter. It might be with strangers, friends, or even old lovers. But the defining characteristic of casual sex, what makes it casual, is the separation of the sexual encounter from a sexual or intimate relationship.

Casual sex might be considered a little Taoist; by not meaning any one thing, casual sex may mean any number of things. Frustratingly for some, it may be that the defining feature of casual sex is that it evades any concrete definition.

Take Heather’s Survey!

What’s Casual About Casual Sex? originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Friday, March 5th, 2010 at 00:01:48.

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10 Most Unusual Mental Disorders

admin — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 12:24:38 +0000

Millions fall prey to mental disorders around the world that often requires years of dedicated psychotherapy. The psychological problems too can vary widely, which sometimes can be extremely rare or bizarre. Presented here are ten such mental illness that are amongst the most unusual.

Stockholm Syndrome

Stockholm syndrome is a psychological reaction that is sometimes seen among abducted hostage, with the hostage developing a sympathetic feeling towards the hostage taker. The hostage becomes loyal and voluntarily complies with the abductors, this in spite of the risk and trauma that the hostage has been subjected to. This syndrome is also believed to come in to play in some other cases like wife-beating, rape and child abuse.

The name of this syndrome has its origin in a bank robbery case that took place in Stockholm, Sweden where a group of bank robbers had held the bank employees hostage from 23^rd till 28^th August, 1973. The victims not only developed an emotional attachment with the robbers, they also went on to defend the robbers even after they were freed from their 6-day captivity. They refused to testify against them while one of the captors married a woman whom he had held captive.

A well-known example of the Stockholm Syndrome is that of Patty Hearst, daughter of a millionaire who was kidnapped in 1974. She too developed sympathy for her captors, so much that she even took part in a robbery that her captors were planning.

Lima Syndrome

Lima syndrome presents a scenario where it is the hostage takers who develop a feeling of sympathy and compassion for their hostages, which is exactly opposite to what Stockholm syndrome is.

It got its name from the Japanese embassy hostage crisis that took place in Lima, Peru and stretched from 17^th of December 1996 till 22^nd April 1997. It all began when 14 members of the Tupac Amaru Revolutionary Movement or MRTA took under their custody hundreds of people at a party that was being held at the official residence of Japan’s ambassador to Peru. Among the hostages were several distinguished members like diplomats, government and military officials as well as several foreign business executives.

The militants went on to release most of the captives within a few days of the hostage crisis, including the future President of Peru as well as the mother of the current President, which shows they were least interested of their importance. What followed were several months of unsuccessful negotiations that culminated in a commando operation that led to the release of all the hostage except one who got killed.

Diogenes Syndrome

Diogenes syndrome is a behavioral disorder characterized by extreme neglect for oneself, reclusive tendencies and compulsive hoarding, sometimes even of animals. Also known as senile squalor syndrome, the condition is known to affect mostly the elderly who live alone and is associated with senile breakdown.

It got its name from Diogenes of Sinope, an ancient Greek philosopher who had made a wine barrel his home and was a strong believer of nihilism and animalism. In a famous incident, he was once asked by Alexander the Great as to what he would like to have the most in his life. Diogenes had replied that he would like to see the monarch driven out of his sunlight.

However, the naming of the disorder is actually a misnomer as Diogenes – in reality – lead an ascetic and transient life with no reason to believe that he compromised on his personal hygiene.

Paris Syndrome

The Paris syndrome is a collection of several mood-affecting symptoms that is known to affect those who visit this famous French city, with Japanese nationals being especially susceptible to it. The disorder is rare in that only about a dozen or so Japanese visitors go through what can be termed as some sort of a mental breakdown among the millions of Japanese tourists who visit this bustling metropolis each year. However, that’s enough for the Japanese embassy in Paris to maintain a 24-hr hotline for tourists who suffer from such a shock, and can also arrange emergency medical treatment if the situation so warrants.

It’s actually a severe form of culture chock that polite Japanese individuals visiting this city often suffer from, and is basically due to their inability to separate their idyllic view of the city that is evident in such films like Amelie, with the reality of a modern city.

The scenario can be like this – if a rude French waiter confronts a Japanese tourist, he won’t be able to argue back and can’t react other than to bottle up his own anger. This leads to a full mental breakdown, which in severe cases may necessitate deportation to the home country.

Stendhal Syndrome

Essentially a form of psychosomatic illness, the Stendhal syndrome can be summed up as the reaction when an affected individual is exposed to art, more so when the art is particularly beautiful or if it is a large amount of art confined in a single place. Common symptoms are an increase in heartbeat, dizziness, a sense of confusion and even hallucination. The term is also used to describe a situation such as when an individual is faced with a surfeit of choice, for instance when faced with an object of immense beauty in the natural world.

The disorder got its name from the famous 19^th century French author Stendhal who during a visit to Florence, Italy in 1817 encountered the phenomenon, which he later described in a book ‘Naples and Florence: A Journey from Milan to Reggio’.

Jerusalem Syndrome

A rare travel psychosis, Jerusalem Syndrome refers to the set of mental phenomena that may arise in the presence of religion based obsessive ideas, delusions or other psychosis related experiences that a visit to the city of Jerusalem may give rise to. It is a malady that is not just limited to one single religion or denomination but is known to affect Jews and Christians of different backgrounds alike.

People seem to get affected with this syndrome while they are in Jerusalem, causing psychotic delusions, with none of it persisting beyond a few weeks. Also, all of them who have undergone this spontaneous psychosis have either had a previous history of mental illness or did not feel too well before visiting the city.

Capgras Delusion

The Capgrass delusion causes the sufferer to believe that a close acquaintance, generally a spouse or some other family member, has been replaced by someone who carries the same exact looks. It is an extremely uncommon disorder and is most likely to occur to those who suffer from schizophrenia, though patients of dementia may also be affected with it. Also, a brain injury can make one to be susceptible to it.

A typical case report brings out the following fact:

Mrs. D, a married housewife 74 years of age who had been discharged from hospital after undergoing her first psychiatric treatment returned back to seek a second opinion. During her stay at the hospital earlier in the year, she was diagnosed with a typical psychosis that made her to belief that her husband has been replaced by a similar looking man who is completely unrelated to her. This prompted her to not only refuse to sleep with the imposter, she also locked her bedroom and door at night and even asked her son for a gun. Finally, she resisted vehemently when police were called in to put her in a hospital. There are times when she thought her husband is actually her father who has died long ago and the trouble seemed to be only when its about recognizing her husband, as she could easily identify everyone else of her family.

The paranoia that this condition has given rise to has made it a favorite tool of science fiction writers and film-makers and has been translated into several masterpieces like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Total Recall and The Stepford Wives.

Fregoli Delusion

Another extremely rare disorder, Fregoli Delusion is named after the famed Italian actor Leopoldo Fregoli who was well known for his ability to make quick changes to his appearance during his stage acts.

Symptoms of this disorder can be defined as exactly opposite to those of the Capgras delusion in which, affected persons believe that different persons are actually a single person who is either changing appearance or is in disguise.

The disorder was first diagnosed in 1927 by two psychiatrists in a 27-year old woman who was of the opinion that the two actors whom she often went to see at the theatre was actually persecuting her. She held the belief that the two actors in reality took interest in pursuing her in the form of people she has met or knew.

Cotard Delusion

The Cotard delusion is a rare psychiatric condition that make the sufferer to believe that they have died, does not exist anymore, is putrefying or has lost their blood or internal organs. Sometimes, though rarely, it can also include delusions of immortality. It is named after a French neurologist Jules Cotard, who was the first to describe such a condition at a lecture in Paris in 1880, and which he referred to as ‘le délire de negation’ or ‘negation delirium.

One particular case study reveals the following:

Common symptoms of this disorder revolved around a general feeling of unrealities and being dead. A patient, after being discharged from a hospital in Edinburgh in January 1990 was taken to South Africa by his mother. The patient believed it to be a journey to hell that was confirmed by the heat. He also believed to have already died of septicaemia which was a risk early in his recovery, or maybe of AIDS. A story that he came across in The Scotsman about someone with AIDS who eventually died from septicaemia further added to his belief. Another reason that he thought was responsible for his death is an overdose of a yellow fever injection. He believed to have borrowed his mother’s soul while he went around hell and that he was asleep in Scotland.

Reduplicative Paramnesia

Reduplicative paramnesia makes the sufferer to believe that a particular place or an entire location has been duplicated so that two or more places are existing simultaneously or maybe that it has been relocated to another site. For instance, a patient who has been admitted to one hospital may believe to have been shifted to another similar looking hospital located in a different part of the country, though there exists no basis for such a belief.

It was the Czechoslovakian neurologist Arnold Pick who was the first to use the term ‘reduplicative paramnesia’ in 1903 to describe a condition that a patient with suspected Alzheimer’s disease was going through. The patient believed that she has been relocated from Pick’s city clinic to another location that looks identical but was in a familiar suburb. She further claimed that Pick and the medical staff worked at both the locations to explain the discrepancy.

A case study of the disorder

A patient, after being admitted to the Neurobehavioural Center, was able to give details that he has known from others of the accident. His orientation for time was intact and was able to recount his doctor’s names as well as absorb new information while also retaining it indefinitely. He however exhibited a distinct abnormality of orientation of place. While he was fully aware of the fact that he has been admitted at the Jamaica Plain Veterans Hospital also known as the Boston Veterans Administration Hospital, he believed that the hospital was actually located at Taunton, Massachusetts, which incidentally is his home-town. When pressed further, he acknowledged that Jamaica Plain was part of Boston and that it would be a strange thing for two Jamaica Plain Veterans Hospitals to exist simultaneously. Nonetheless, he insisted that it was a branch of the Jamaica Plain Veterans Hospitals located in Taunton that he had been admitted to. At one time, he even maintained that the hospital was located in the spare bedroom of his house.

Sex and the Public Library

admin — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:16:54 +0000

Audacia Ray from Sex Work Awareness (and elsewhere) shared with me this smart and simple research project, funded by the Association for Progressive Communications. The project is attempting to get an idea of the state of access to sexuality information in U.S. public libraries. From the project website:

We are investigating the use of content filters on public library computers with Internet access. The priority research areas are access to information about sexuality and sexual reproductive health. We need help with this work, and request that people all over the United States visit their local public library and do some simple searches using the computers provided by the library. In places with filters, the items that are filtered are not standard across systems. Filtering today cannot be fine-tuned to exclude only pornographic or violent content rather than health information. For example, in a large east coast city, only the word “anal” seemed to be filtered, which prevented people from gaining access to information about anal cancer as well as any potential sexual content.

The site (linked below) includes an easy to use form that prompts you to run simple searches and document your results. Because the research site itself may be blocked (you can’t spell sex research without S-E-X) they also offer a word document you can print out or they’ll email you the form within the body of an email and you can open that up at the library. I live in Canada but travel to the U.S. all the time and I’m going to start making trips to public libraries wherever I go.

Check out the project and participate: Sexuality Information Access in U.S. Public Libraries

Sex and the Public Library originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010 at 00:01:10.

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Critical Sexology Seminar: Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures

admin — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 09:21:15 +0000

If you’re in London this Friday, March 5, the Critical Sexology Seminar looks fascinating. The topic is “Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures”.

The speakers are:

Dr. Kaye Mitchell (Centre for New Writing, University of Manchester) “Raunch vs. Prude: Contemporary Sex Blogs and Erotic Memoirs by Women”

Dr. Meg Barker and Prof. Rosalind Gill (Psychology, Open University) “Sexual Subjectification and ‘Bitchy Jones’s Diary’”

Kitty Stryker (Sex blogger, author of PurrVersatility) “‘En/forced femme’: The Peep Show Experience of Blogging as a Sex Worker”

According to their site, the Critical Sexology Seminar series is,

…a London-based, interdisciplinary seminar series for psychologists, psychoanalysts, medical doctors, literary and cultural studies scholars, philosophers, artists, lawyers and historians with a critical interest in the construction and management of gender and sexuality in the medical, discursive and cultural spheres.

The series is organized by Lisa Downing (University of Exeter), Meg Barker (Open University) and Robert Gillett (Queen Mary, University of London).

Attendance is free and open to all. For more information you can check out their website.

| Twitter | Newsletter Signup | Sexuality Forum |

Critical Sexology Seminar: Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Monday, March 1st, 2010 at 00:01:10.

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Critical Sexology Seminar: Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures

Critical Sexology Seminar: Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures

admin — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 09:21:14 +0000

If you’re in London this Friday, March 5, the Critical Sexology Seminar looks fascinating. The topic is “Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures”.

The speakers are:

Dr. Kaye Mitchell (Centre for New Writing, University of Manchester) “Raunch vs. Prude: Contemporary Sex Blogs and Erotic Memoirs by Women”

Dr. Meg Barker and Prof. Rosalind Gill (Psychology, Open University) “Sexual Subjectification and ‘Bitchy Jones’s Diary’”

Kitty Stryker (Sex blogger, author of PurrVersatility) “‘En/forced femme’: The Peep Show Experience of Blogging as a Sex Worker”

According to their site, the Critical Sexology Seminar series is,

…a London-based, interdisciplinary seminar series for psychologists, psychoanalysts, medical doctors, literary and cultural studies scholars, philosophers, artists, lawyers and historians with a critical interest in the construction and management of gender and sexuality in the medical, discursive and cultural spheres.

The series is organized by Lisa Downing (University of Exeter), Meg Barker (Open University) and Robert Gillett (Queen Mary, University of London).

Attendance is free and open to all. For more information you can check out their website.

| Twitter | Newsletter Signup | Sexuality Forum |

Critical Sexology Seminar: Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Monday, March 1st, 2010 at 00:01:10.

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Critical Sexology Seminar: Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures

Sex Work and Disability Reconsidered

admin — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 08:22:20 +0000

Bethany Stevens, on her new Crip Confessions blog, has a post about sex work and disability that’s well worth reading. On the few occasions when the topic of sex work and disability comes up, it’s usually presented in simple ways. It’s either a radical topic that makes you think and then affirm your groovy sex positiveness. Or it’s a travesty, a double exploitation (after all, to the narrow minded and paternalistic on the left and the right, who are better pity targets than sex workers and disabled people? Imagine that telethon).

In fairness, this topic isn’t something people have written or talked much about publicly, so the discussion is new. Which makes Stevens’ commentary all the more exciting, as it begins to untangle a complex mess of issues and experience. Her focus in the post isn’t as much the public discussion as it is the existence of government policy that funds sex specifically for people with disabilities. It’s a policy that irks her, and she writes:

While many disabled people are economically ghettoized, the framing of policy like this reinforces the charitable model of disability by implicating that disabled people are sexually-deprived. It supports the already pervasive claim that disabled people are not sexually worthy and thereby must seek out the services of a professional, because few, if any, would voluntarily have sex with us.

Note that Stevens’ problem is not narrowly focused on the policy itself, it’s with the framing of the policy. Indeed she goes on to talk about how these policies, while problematic, serve both practical and philosophical functions, calling us all to look not just at the policies and practices that surround sex work and disability, but at the conditions within which such policies and practices develop.

Over the course of my many years as a sex educator working in both rehabilitation and disability communities, and as an ally to disabled friends, family, and lovers, these issues, both in theory and practice, have come up often.

I remember a man I corresponded with in Germany who had access to direct funding from the government in order to pay for services he needed related to his disability. But he was required to submit receipts and, essentially, justify any expenses which weren’t standard on the government forms. He was able to use the money for things like massage, talk therapy, homeopathy, etc… He wanted to use his money for sex work as well, and he didn’t see this as fundamentally different (he described all these things as human needs). Whatever I, or anyone else, thinks of the way he experiences sex work, the bottom line was that because of his disability he was required to justify what he would spend his money on, something that I as a non-disabled person would never have to do. Were I living in Germany I wouldn’t have to do this with tax refunds, I wouldn’t have to do this with unemployment insurance, I wouldn’t have to do it period.

From my perspective (which is, of course, heavily informed by being currently non-disabled) this is first and foremost an issue of access. In the case of the man from Germany this is probably fair because he was identifying it as an access issue.

The problem, which Stevens so skillfully teases out, is that I (we?) can easily generalize and say this is always an issue of access, and sometimes come to believe that this is only an issue of access.

Stevens points out that this is about much more than access. Embedded in the do-gooder sex-positive agenda that says people with disabilities should have free access to sex workers is a denial of other important ways that disabled people are systemically denied sexual rights. The lived experience of many people with visible disabilities is that it’s much much harder to find sexual partners. Random hook ups, long term relationships, monogamous marriages, you name it. If you look disabled you get the message that these things aren’t for you.

I’ve been involved in a couple of different ways in making connections individually and organizationally between sex worker groups and disability activists. I do think that there are important access issues that need to be addressed. But Stevens post is a welcome reminder for me that when I only focus on access, I’m not only missing out, I’m shutting out, which is the opposite of how I want to live my life.

Previously – Sex Work Debate and a Denmark Nursing Home ; Sex Work and Disability ; Adult Film Offers a Good Opportunity to Talk About Sex and Disability

Sex Work and Disability Reconsidered originally appeared on About.com Sexuality on Friday, February 26th, 2010 at 00:01:20.

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Read more here:
Sex Work and Disability Reconsidered

Health For Sex

Heart Sex

Tipping the Scales on Sex Addiction

Tipping the Scales on Sex Addiction

What’s Casual About Casual Sex?

10 Most Unusual Mental Disorders

Sex and the Public Library

Critical Sexology Seminar: Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures

Critical Sexology Seminar: Sex Blogging, Gender, and Sexual Subcultures

Sex Work and Disability Reconsidered

Recommended Reading: Of Youth and Lovers